Category Archives: Celebrations

The Right Clothes Could Improve Your Memory

06 Friday Apr 2012

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 I often can’t remember where I’ve put something or even why I’ve gone into a room and yet I could tell you what I’d be wearing to work today, if I wasn’t retired. It’s the same thing I’d worn for years on the last day of school before the kids went home for spring break. I was their well-educated, sophisticated teacher, after all.

 Years ago, the majority of our school staff could be seen sporting this svelte form of attire. One fellow teacher actually had the exact same sweater! But before you judge, I want you to consider a few facts.  The elongated holiday sweater, with all of its designs and embellishments, complimented one’s body.  Okay, okay…so it didn’t flatter anyone’s figure but it did a pretty good job of just covering stuff up.(In its defense, this poor thing had hung in my closet, “growing”, for years before I realized it and put it in a drawer.) Deciding what to wear that Friday before Easter was never a problem, once the pink rabbit sweater came into my life. And there was something quite festive about walking around the classroom, all day, in a sweater that made such a bold statement. Even if that statement was…”The teacher dresses funny.” 

I was thrilled when I went to a  local high school campus, last December, and saw many of the students dressed in colorful holiday sweaters. I thought I’d found a  kinder, gentler, student body until I was informed it was Ugly Sweater Day. Adolescents…what do they know anyway?

 Researchers recognize that, as a general rule, we remember those emotionally charged events better than the dull, boring ones. I can attest to the fact that those days in a classroom, before a holiday…with all those classroom festivities… are pretty unforgettable. There is also some research to suggest that memories are more easily retained when they are accompanied with vivid, visual images. So I’m thinking that holiday celebration days, from my classroom, will be a part of my memory for a long time. Although the sweaters might be ugly…the memories are sweet.

 

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Lessons Learned From the “Little People”

15 Thursday Mar 2012

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It happened every year on St. Patrick’s Day.  I’d swing open the door of my  classroom to 30 eagerly awaiting kindergarteners and prepare to deliver the unsettling news. Our classroom was a mess. Somehow, blocks and toys had been left all over the floor, paints had been tipped over, and tiny little green footprints covered the countertops and whiteboards!  The children would always be horrified…delightfully horrified.

There was never any argument about the clean-up. Everyone was anxious  to help, confident that under the next pile of blocks or in the next cupboard, they would find the leprechaun responsible for the mess. It had to be a leprechaun, didn’t it? Although an actual mischievous sprite of Irish folklore was never caught, several were seen running past the door or escaping over the playground fence. It would be well into April before the sightings stopped.

I suspicioned that when I left kindergarten for third grade , I’d miss the naive charm of a five-year old.  Although most third graders no longer believed in leprechauns or other fascinating creatures, they delighted in other things. One of those things was the magic of nature. A lizard zipping across the pavement would bring squeals of excitement from most eight-year olds. I was always reminding my students that a paper cup and a handful of grass was not the natural habitat for ladybugs but there were times when their wide eyes, brimming with tears, would force me to concede…”How about releasing them after you show  mom and dad?”  Their enhancement with nature was undeniable and it didn’t stop with living things.

We were lucky enough to have a large, six-foot window in our classroom that looked out on a grassy area and several trees. Not the students that passed by the window or even the workers that climbed ladders, in front of our window to the roof, caused as much of a distraction as the changing weather.  Every time it started to rain, there would be a rumble in the classroom, a couple of my most impulsive students escaping from their seats to get a closer look. The first time it happened, I headed to the window with full intentions of closing the blinds.  But, I stopped.

Wasn’t curiosity the very thing that teachers hoped to encourage? I believed it played as important of a role, in the education of a child, as learning facts. And isn’t a certain portion of  adult success (that is a long-term goal of educators, after all) measured by personal happiness? It always seemed to me that happiness had more to do with being awed by life and the things around you than it did with wealth or fame.

But most of all, I had promised myself, as a young college student, that I would always be a champion of childhood.  Closing the blinds, at that moment, would be communicating that enjoying the sights and sounds of the rain was far less important than our lessons. But the rain wouldn’t last forever and their attention spans were short. The mystery of the rain would pass and we would be able to get back to the joys of multiplication. But for now, for this short moment in time, we needed to delight in what was in front of us. And so we did.

I learned numerous lessons, from my students, over the course of my teaching career. I always knew childhood was a magical time but they reminded me, year after year, that keeping life magical had a lot to do with knowing when to let your imagination run wild and remembering to view everyday events as celebrations. And those, thank goodness, are lessons I don’t have to let go of as I age.

Rosary High School’s RED and GOLD… It’s Much Ado About Teamwork

06 Tuesday Mar 2012

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Mathematically, it just doesn’t add up.  Take a group of about six hundred high school girls, give them the task of creating two school-wide competing musicals that include all the basic elements of theater, without the benefits of an extended timeline or a generous budget and then anticipate a delightfully creative, energetic production evidenced by sold-out performances. It may not “add up” but that is exactly what happens every year, at Rosary High School.

Rosary High School is a Catholic High School for girls located in Fullerton, California. It’s a high school, like many others, populated with students of diverse interests and skills. It isn’t made up of students who have all decided to pursue a  profession in theater or the arts.  But once a year, for six weeks, they work together like they were auditioning for the TV show Smash!

Red and Gold is their honored, forty-two year tradition. Its goal is to “unify the school community and profoundly deepen school spirit, loyalty, and pride.” The students are divided into two teams (the Red and Gold Teams) which are led by student producers and captains. These teams must then work to create a script that coordinates with the year’s theme as well as produce dance/musical numbers, create costumes, track the budget and create publicity ,and build props and scenery.   And don’t assume that those girls can’t wield power tools!  The local boys Catholic high school, Servite, provides some technical support as the Black Team, but the girls don’t ever forget who is in charge.  The White Team (a neutral team made up of ASB members and representatives of the junior and senior class) helps with the logistics and announces the winner at the end of the last performance. The performances truly have to be witnessed to be believed.

Watch the girls at the  Red and Gold kick-off rally and the 2012 theme is announced.

http://rosaryhs.org/apps/video/watch.jsp?v=26166

 I remember the first time that I sat in the audience for a Red and Gold Production. The energy in the theater was unmistakable and when the girls hit the stage, their obvious dedication and talent overwhelming. It is rare within the intimidating high school experience that the opportunity is provided for students to take a risk and try something they have never done before with the support of friends and peers.  It is true that this kind of achievement would never be possible if it weren’t for a school administration/staff that supports the idea and champion the girls along the way, and the parents, who are the girls’ biggest fans. But it is a testament to the girls, themselves, and the power of teamwork. Collaborating to achieve a common goal while celebrating individual strengths… priceless life skills best learned by experiencing them first hand. Kudos to Rosary High School, and its staff, for recognizing that fact. And praise to those Rosary girls who go above and beyond to make Red and Gold such a magical event.

“Where the Sidewalk Ends” is this year’s Red and Gold theme. The performance opens on Friday night, March 9, with additional performances on Saturday, March 10, at the Servite Theater, in Anaheim.

Red and Gold Program 2011

Out of the Kindle and into the Backyard

23 Monday Jan 2012

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About 13 years ago, I played a supporting role in an off-Broadway production of Ludwig Bemelmans’ classic children’s book, Madeline. When I say off-Broadway, I mean more than 2,000 miles from New York City, in my niece’s backyard in Southern California. Although I had no script to memorize or rehearsals to attend, I was expected to wear a costume, bring the character of Miss Clavel to life, and help supervise a group of little girls. I was part of a literature themed birthday party.

There may not have been twelve little girls and we were definitely not in two straight lines but we were engaged!

Planning a child’s birthday party has turned into big business over the last decade.  Even if you aren’t a parent who typically hires an event planner to choreograph your child’s party, you undoubtedly feel some pressure to create a special celebration that involves more than a clown creating balloon animals and doesn’t necessitate borrowing from your child’s college fund. By sharing bits and pieces of my niece’s literature-themed birthday party, you might be inspired to create a party based on something that is already near and dear to your child’s heart…a beloved story from their own bookshelf. Involve your child in some of the planning and you’ll be creating birthday memories even before the invitations are addressed.  

Setting the Stage

Alex wore a Madeline costume as she greeted her guests, at the door. If you decide to have your child wear a costume and his/her birthday is near Halloween, finding a costume will probably be a no-brainer. Several websites offer children’s costumes for sale throughout the year, or if you have the time, you could possibly assemble a costume yourself. Although Alex only wore the costume long enough to welcome her party guests, the costume played another important role which I will explain in a minute. 

Creating a Backdrop

This step may sound a bit labor-intensive but it doesn’t have to be and a backdrop can be both decorative and functional.  I don’t have a picture of the mural Alex’s mom created, by itself, so you will have to look past the three of us to get an idea of what I am talking about.

Alex’s mom is quite creative so I believe she free-handed this backdrop, using a page in the book as a reference.  She used  large sheets of white butcher paper for the “canvas”. Butcher paper can be purchased at a teacher-supply store. You could also use a couple of large picnic tablecloths or an inexpensive white sheet. If you aren’t that confident of your free-hand artistic talents, you have several other options. Simple black and white images can be projected onto a white surface, traced and then painted or colored. Or, if you want to avoid the whole painting thing, create a “scene” using things around your house or backyard. For example, if your child loves Curious George, their costume might be the yellow clothing and hat worn by the “Man with The Yellow Hat”.  A small stuffed monkey and a tree in your backyard could be your scene.

Sometime during the party, when Alex and her guests were busily engaged in activities, the guests (one by one) put on the Madeline costume and had their picture taken in front of the backdrop. After the party, Alex’s mom printed the pictures and turned them into thank you cards that Alex sent to her guests.

                                      The thank you note that I received.

 Other Options

Once the guests had all arrived, Alex’s mom read Madeline to the children. Start your festivities with an actual reading of the favored book. Or, if your child’s favorite book is lengthy, like Harry Potter, choose the perfect excerpt to help create the mood.

We played Pin the Yellow Hat on Madeline. You can create games or activities that relate to the book’s theme. Or, take a classic like, Pin the Tail on the Donkey, and rename the parts.

Madeline lived in Paris, France, so little finger sandwiches (peanut butter and jelly) and petit fours were served. One of your choices can be to have your treats and/or your cake reflect the book’s theme.

Alex gave paperback copies of Madeline to her friends. Obviously, purchasing books can be expensive. If your child’s classroom teacher offers Scholastic Book Orders to her students, you might check those flyers. Frequently, they offer paperback books for $.99 each. Check Scholastic.com for special offers and the dates of their local warehouse sales. If you like creating treat bags for the party goers, this can be a relatively easy place to interject he theme.

Alex’s mom had access to adult costumes from a local theater group so our nun costumes were on loan. It was a decision we made on a whim but it was one we never regretted. Just have fun with the whole thematic idea and consider including other interested adults.

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Whatever you choose for your theme, or even if you choose not to have a themed party at all, isn’t as important as choosing to create a celebration that is all about your child. Alex loved books and reading. Your child’s celebration should reflect his/her unique curiosities, young dreams, and ever-changing interests. Keep that in mind and the birthday party will be a success, whatever form it takes.                                         

 

 

 

 

 

National Letter Writing Week January 9-16

08 Sunday Jan 2012

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Many of the classic tasks of yesteryear have become obsolete after the arrival of technological inventions, like the computer. We are in an era where efficiency is held king and faster typically correlates to better. Efficiency is defined as “the ability to accomplish a job with minimum expenditure of time and effort.”  But is that always better?

Psychologists and life-style coaches remind us that a happier, healthier life can only be accomplished through balance. We somehow need to include, on our endless list of “to-dos”, those tasks that big us joy and reflect the things we value. I think most people would agree that our lives are richer because of the relationships we share with family and friends.

So, this is a perfect week for me to tout hand written letters. I’m not talking about replacing e-mails sent for business purposes or general communication with a hand written note. I’m talking about spending a few quiet moments contemplating the people, in your life, who might really benefit from knowing that they are in your thoughts. Aging relatives? Widowed friends? Empty nesters? Service men and women? I was raised by a mom who devoted a small portion of her day, every day, to correspond with friends and loved ones. I saw the impact that it had on people’s lives as well as her own. Most of us don’t hesitate to send a sympathy card to a friend, after a death, but how about a card, months later, as a reminder they are still in our thoughts?  A hand written letter doesn’t have to be long or say anything profound. In fact, it doesn’t really need to say much more than…”I’m thinking about you.”

It’s always a bright spot, for me, when I pull something from the mailbox other than bills and junk mail. I challenge you, this week,  to help create that bright spot for someone else. Identify just one person who might really benefit from a hand written note. (Seriously, who wouldn’t?)  A simple note that just says “hi” but communicates so much more. Think of all the people who could be encouraged, all the lives that could be brightened. It’s a moderate amount of time and effort for a huge payoff.  For me, that’s true efficiency.

My Four Star Style Resolution

01 Sunday Jan 2012

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I have had “live in 4 star style” as a New Year’s Resolution for as long as I have been writing resolutions. The expression obviously comes from the rating system of restaurants and hotels that existed in the years I first started contemplating resolutions. In the 1970s, grade point averages peaked at 4.0 and so did rating systems. But my resolution has nothing to do with living a sumptuous life. In the same way that a quaint, unassuming bed and breakfast might qualify for a top rating because of its uniqueness, quality of service, or the fact that it is situated on a breathtaking ocean bluff, I attempt to live my life in my own personal 4 star style.

For me, that means being true to myself and my sense of celebration of life through relationships and an attitude of appreciation.  It means things like keeping a gratitude journal, hiding love notes in my husband’s gym bag, adding a personal greeting to that birthday card (not just my signature), and not waiting for a special occasion to use the “good” dishes.  It’s about being a little more patient, being a little more forgiving. 

In classic goal setting terms, this is a ridiculous resolution. It gets points for being a goal that is under my control but how do I make it specific and measurable?  I don’t even want to.  How do I know when I’ve been successful? I know. There is a certain element of spontaneity that this resolution requires and yet there has to be planning to make it successful. It’s an oxymoron, of some type. Sometimes I lead with my head and sometimes my heart. Even without specific timelines or markers to meet, there are days and times when I know that I have failed miserably.  I know when I’ve been too tired or too focused, on myself, to put in the extra effort. I know when I’m just being lazy. But I also recognize when the extra effort turns an ordinary day into something special.  Each day really is a new beginning and I like that.

And so I enter 2012 with my absurdly undefined and basically outdated (I know I should update to 5 Star Style) resolution. But it is my “old tradition” and it makes a year of 365 or 366 days full of possibilities…. possibilities for celebration.

Using Poetry to Personalize Your Celebration (part 1of 3)

04 Thursday Aug 2011

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It was June and my teaching buddies and I were looking forward to vacation but lamenting the fact that we never seemed to do a good job of getting together over the summer. Someone suggested that we schedule a round of golf every week and whoever was in town could just show up. The idea met with unanimous approval which was pretty amazing considering there were ten people voting and only a couple of us had ever actually held a golf club.

We decided we would find a small, local golf course and we would play late in the afternoon so our amateur skills would offend as few people, as possible. Birch Hills Golf Course, a small executive course near the school, turned out to be our summer playground for golfing and we became acquainted with Mike, the golf pro, on our first visit. Judy had called ahead to set a tee-time and explain our situation before the first time we actually played a round of golf.

At first, Mike was the consummate professional explaining exactly what the club offered in classes, equipment, and support. However, it didn’t take him long to realize this group of golfers was more interested in the color of their tees and who would drive the golf cart than in signing up for classes to improve their putting.

The rules, for the course, were painted on a wooden sign that hung on the outside of the door to the pro shop and were quite obvious. Teachers are basically  “compliant children” so Mike didn’t need to worry too much about us breaking the rules. We did sometimes giggle a little too loud, allow ourselves an inordinate amount of do-overs, or stop too many times to take photos. Our golf game might have been a bit unorthodox and we might have bent a few rules but we never broke any rules that could result in anyone getting hurt and we were never disrespectful of the more skilled serious players. The Marshall, who drove around in his little cart watching for infractions, disliked the fact that we would sometimes bunch together and make a six-some. He would always drive up to the group and exclaim…”Ladies, the rules state that you golf in groups of 4.”  He must have complained, back at the pro shop, because once Mike made Judy walk outside and reread the rules posted on the door. But before the end of the summer Marshall had become our “best friend” and would purposely go out of his way to stop by and say hi whenever his shift was ending just as we arrived.

As the dog days of summer drew to a close, we faced the beginning of a new school year and the ending of those regularly scheduled golf games. Our weekly tee-offs had provided us with fun, friendship and a modicum of exercise. No one wanted to see them come to an end. We decided to stretch out our time together and end our summer routine with our own personally created Sports Award Banquet. We chose categories of awards  where we would recognize each other for the unique strengths we each brought to the game or the growth that we all demonstrated. It would be the culminating activity after a summer of fun and new learning. We made reservations at a local restaurant, invited Mike to join us, and set out to create voting ballots for those awards.

I wanted to add my own special touch to the evening so I decided to create a poem that retold our golfing story. It was never my intention to write a “literary work of distinctive style and rhythm.” Instead, I wanted to remind the group of the adventures we had shared on the golf course and I wanted to make them laugh. My lack of poetry writing skills would insure my poem was never mistaken for high-level prose and setting it to the rhythm and rhyme of a well-known Christmas poem would guarantee its silliness. (There is something intrinsically funny about rewriting a well-known poem using totally unrelated words.)

Tomorrow I will post my poem…Twas The Night Before Golfing. Thank you Clement Clarke Moore.

Small and Cheap Aren’t Synonyms! (Our Wedding Our Way)

23 Thursday Jun 2011

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The first time I googled “small weddings” the top response was “cheap weddings”.  In disgust, I clicked off the computer and walked out of the room. Perhaps a bit of an overreaction on my part, handling frustration isn’t always my long suit.

At the first announcement that I was getting married, my best-friend gave  me a congratulations card and one of those bridal magazines. It’s incredible what you can learn in those magazines. I learned that I  had an official title –  encore bride. I wasn’t even struggling with the whole second marriage label but it was exciting to discover there was an official title for my new role.  What was even more incredible was the overwhelming number of options available to brides who were in the midst of planning a wedding.

For  a week, I poured over every page of that magazine,  ooohing and ahhhing over the beautifully set reception tables, the magnificent bridal bouquets, and the heavily adorned wedding dresses. It was all very beautiful,  my inner princess was delighted, but very little of what I saw in those elaborate magazines was what my fiancé, Greg, and I really wanted for our wedding. We were both “encores”( assuming encore isn’t gender specific),  in our 50s, and dealing with a limited budget.  I had perused the bookstores and purchased additional magazines. But by the time I got the “cheap wedding” response, on the computer,  I was at my wits end.

One afternoon,  Greg, recognizing my continued frustration, came home with one more book. It was entitled Intimate Weddings.  I was touched by his thoughtfulness. The book’s relatively small size (for a wedding book) and its soft yellow colored cover encouraged me to let down my guard long enough to flip through the pages.  I was instantly charmed. I loved the author’s use of words and her delightful description of possibilities.  I realized that I had been focusing on what I couldn’t have, with our limited budget, instead of all of the possibilities I could explore with a small wedding. It was the turning point in my own wedding planning.  

In the months that followed, as we made the decisions that are typically associated with wedding planning, we consciously tried to think of ways to infuse the ceremony and reception with personal touches. I now realize that the road to our wedding day was filled with more than schedules to keep and choices to make. It was filled with affirmations of long held values, and a few personal insights, as well.

My Uncle Leonard, my father’s youngest brother, married us. I can see a bit of my father in his face and in his demeanor. My father was a much younger man when he passed away but I can still see the family resemblance. My father would be so proud of him….and of me.

Alexandra, my best friend’s daughter, was my bridesmaid. I am an only child but she is still my “niece.” Family bonds are as much a matter of the heart as they are about genetics, for me. On the day of the wedding, Alex wore, around her neck, a strand of my mother’s pearls. I still miss my mom. Although she never knew Alex as a young woman, she had loved her as a child and young teen. It was a sentimental reminder of the love we all had shared.

Greg and I purchased pocket watches, as gifts, for his parents. Time is the ultimate gift. The watches symbolized all the time his parents had spent caring for him, loving him, supporting him…helping to form him into the man that I love. The watches also stood for that precious portion of time – the future – that stood ahead of all of us. We tucked a picture of ourselves, in the case, to remind them of this particularly special moment in time.

In the middle of our reception, we took a small break for a photo montage. I’ll always remember how I felt, standing with Greg by my side, as we watched the images flash before us. The montage began with a short tribute to the memory of my loving parents. But instead of moving on to pictures of Greg and me, the images transitioned to pictures of our guests. Secretly, we’d chosen a few pictures of each of our guests and their families.  Those photos and some  favorite music selections were handed over to a videographer.  The finished product was our way of saying – Your lives are important to us. Without all of you and the influence of your love and friendship, we couldn’t be all that we are…we wouldn’t be here.

The personal touches weren’t all  the results of such serious thought. We definitely left room for the expression of those  individual  personal characteristics that help define us. There is a part of me that has never outgrown the love of all things frilly or sparkly. She’s the inner princess that loved everything in that original bridal magazine. I chose my wedding shoes in honor of her.

Our wedding day had been designed to reflect the things that were of value to us.  It was filled with friends and family and a reminder of the way they had enriched our lives. It was filled with the traditions of marriage that were close to our heart. It was filled with personal touches that made our wedding day “uniquely ours.” Our wedding was small… but only in size.

Intimate Weddings was published in 2004. The blog, Intimate Weddings, was started four years later.

Will You Stand By My Side?

14 Tuesday Jun 2011

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I was ready to pop the question. A little luncheon had been planned in honor of this special occasion. The house was clean, the table set, and a few appropriate words had been rehearsed. I was a little nervous but I was ready.

But what I was about to propose wasn’t marriage. I had invited Alexandra, my fifteen year old niece, and her mom, to lunch where I was going to ask her to be the one and only bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding.

I think it is a magical factor of human nature that we are capable of knowing we will love someone or something before they actually become a tangible part of our lives. But it is an experience most of us have had. I knew that I would love Alex even before she was born. I was enchanted holding her for the first time.

Even though I knew that I would love her, I could not possibly have known all the wonderful memories that we would build together. I could not have possibly imagined all of the joy that she would bring to my life. I could not have envisioned all of the giggles and the hugs that we would share over the next decade and a half.

So, I wanted this luncheon to be more than an opportunity to anticipate and prepare for my special day. I wanted it to be an opportunity to celebrate the unique bond that she and I had developed.

The luncheon table had been decorated in browns and pinks to match a bridesmaid tote that I had bought for her. Pictures, chosen from different stages of her life, served as our centerpiece. A banner, asking the big question, hung across the doorway. While she knew she was coming to lunch, I don’t think that she suspected my ulterior motive.

It was fun to see the surprise in her face.  

And even more fun to spend the next six months shopping and dreaming and building even more memories, together.

And when the big day finally arrived, that sweet, beautifully radiant child, who had been so close to my heart, for so many years, was there ready and willing to stand by my side. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

                   Happy 18th Birthday! (June 14, 2011)        I love you.

Becoming a Memory-Keeper for a Special Bride

08 Wednesday Jun 2011

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Most wedding ceremonies last for about an hour.  Add a sit down dinner reception and the celebration will last for several hours. Decide to invite your guests to a romantic setting where everyone stays in small cottages and the celebration lasts throughout the week-end (I actually know of someone who did just that) and you might get 72 hours of wedding celebration.

 But I think that I am safe in saying that whatever the length of the celebration, it pales in comparison to the time spent planning for the special day. Brides-to-be spend hours preparing. They try on dresses, taste entrées, make music selections. All the hours spent in the prep can be exhausting and frustrating but those hours can also be sources of some amazing memories.

A photographer, hired to record the special moments of the wedding day, is considered a necessity. But what happens to all of those special moments that occurred during those numerous planning days? They get filed away and too often (I fear) forgotten.  Yet they are the very moments that help to make the big day such a magical event.

 What I am about to propose (no pun intended) is that there could be someone who records some of those special wedding prep moments – someone who becomes a memory-keeper for the bride. And that someone could be you.

Who me?

This job is designed for someone who is close enough to the bride to naturally be included in much of the planning. It doesn’t mean you actually have to be with her everywhere she goes for wedding prep but it assumes you are close enough to the bride that she will be sharing her big-day planning experiences with you on a somewhat regular basis.  It assumes you’re willing to keep little notes on the events as they occur and willing to keep a temporary secret. And most importantly, you think it sounds like fun!

What tools do I  need?

Get yourself a small, basic notebook. It should fit easily into your purse or pocket. It shouldn’t be fancy. Resist the temptation to buy something that might invite you to focus on something other than just recording facts. Don’t worry about what you write – just write. There will be a chance, later on, to rewrite entries if you decide. Save the descriptive phrases and fancy verbs for then.

  How do I do this?

You are not going to be lurking in dark places with your notebook.  In fact, you don’t really have to keep what you are doing a secret. You’ll see why I think it’s fun to keep it a secret later in the blog. As you become privy to information, date and record it in your notebook.  I am assuming that, if you are choosing to try this activity, you know the bride fairly well.  Record facts that you feel will be meaningful to her. Be kind. If something happens that might be considered embarrassing, exercise good judgment. You know the bride so you are best to make that distinction.

What memories do I keep?

Some of the memories that are perfect to “keep” will be obvious.  A mother-of-the-bride getting teary when she first sees her daughter, in a wedding gown, might be predictable. The words she uses to express her feelings will be personally unique and meaningful. They might even hold some surprises.  When the florist, who has been working with ten other clients that day, calls the bride by the wrong name, it might be annoying at the time but it could be funny, later. As you go along, you’ll recognize the opportunities where you should record a fact.  Regardless of what you do or don’t choose, you really can’t do this job incorrectly. Let your genuine love and friendship, for the bride, guide your choices.

What do I do with these collected memories?

Think of times and places where it might be fun to use these bits of trivia.

How about a bridal shower?  We’ve all been there. It’s the chatter that goes on, between guests, while playing those shower games that makes them fun. Bride Bingo, without it, can be down-right painful. Try the challenge of turning bits of information about the wedding and your unique memories into a game.  You could divide your memories into categories and have party guests try to answer easy 100 point questions or be challenged by those 500 point questions.  Obviously, only a few people may know the name that the florist accidentally used when conferring with the bride, but it will make for fun conversation.  Typically, the bride knows all of the answers to any bridal game question. But even she may have to search her memory for some of these answers. If you have kept your memory keeping a secret, these little facts will be a fun surprise, for the bride, as well as the guests.

Responsible for a wedding toast? Your memories might provide just the additional anecdote, funny or sentimental, that you were looking for to complete that toast.

You can eventually turn your notes into a gift. At this point, you might purchase or make a little book that is a bit more decorative and rewrite some or all of your entries. If you feel comfortable adding those descriptive phrases and fancy verbs, now is the time. I personally feel that the memories themselves are special enough but that is up to you. This little book of memories could be a Happy First Anniversary Gift.

I think that you will find, while collecting all of these memories, it has made the planning steps more meaningful and more enjoyable for you. That’s a perk right there!

Celebrating a friend’s wedding day is incredibly special. Celebrating a friend’s preparation for that day, by being a keeper of the memories, is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will stay, with both of you, forever.

I have been a memory keeper, myself, but I was recording for another unique event. If you have questions or would like a little additional help, please feel free to ask. If you decide to “become a memory keeper”, I’d love to hear about your experiences.