Tag Archives: celebrate

Now, It’s Your Turn! (part 3 of 3)

06 Saturday Aug 2011

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I guess that I am a bit of a hypocrite. I stood in front of a classroom of children for years and said, “Of course, you can write poetry.” I’m in the midst of writing a post encouraging you to write poetry, but asked if I write poems, I’d answer with an empathic….NO.  When I think about verse, I think of classical poetry even though I enjoy and appreciate many of its other forms.

Poetry is powerful. It has the ability to inspire, console, enrage, or entertain.  What I am encouraging you to do is to try your hand at writing poetry for the purpose of personalizing a special event. My skills are limited to an ability to identify words that rhyme and a competence in using the thesaurus. My poetry is typically silly but it can still entertain. I believe that if you are a poet, you have a unique gift. I also believe that, even if you think you have no specific poetry writing skills, the desire to create something unique and meaningful will be your strongest asset.

Let your creativity flow as you follow these guidelines.

Choose the subject that you would like to write about. What special event are you hoping to celebrate?   wedding? birth of a child? graduation?

Poetry 101 would stress the importance of identifying line lengths, line breaks, rhythm, etc. I take the easy way out and choose a well-known poem or verse that is easily recognized.  I use it as a template and just substitute my own words. (Of course, you can’t legally publish a poem written this way but I assume that you are doing this for personal use only.)

Identify the specific events/ thoughts that you want to include in your poem. Keep them in sequential order. A poem on an upcoming wedding might include a stanza on how the couple met. A poem on the birth of a child might include how mom and dad chose the baby’s name.

Start to write down your thoughts as they come into  your head. (I like to go back and edit after I have the basic form but you may wish to do a little editing as you go.)

Rhyme is a great poetic device. I strongly recommend that you use it. Arrange your lines (sentences) so that basic words fall at the end of a line.  For example, instead of writing… Today is your graduation… try –   Your graduation day is here. Both sentences have the same number of word parts or syllables but rhyming with “here” will be a lot easier than rhyming with “graduation.”

Choose interesting words. Rely on a thesaurus. It doesn’t matter if it’s hardback or synonym.com

Your poem will most likely be on a specific subject. Try not to over use the common words associated with that subject. Don’t over use “graduation”. Try substituting related words or made-up phrases like “cap and gown day”. Get creative.

Save the most heart-felt message for the end of your poem.  Don’t be afraid to show your emotions. Sincerity is very powerful.

Edit your poem. Read it out loud. You’ll be able to hear the rhythm of your lines and determine if the words you have chosen really match what you want to express. Sometimes it helps to put your writing aside and come back to it.

When it comes time to share your poem, identify how you want it presented. Are you comfortable reading it out loud in front of others? It’s a great way to control your rhythm and put emphasis on the words and phrases that are most important to you. Perhaps you are most comfortable writing out your poem and presenting it privately.

Remember that a gift that comes from the heart can never be the wrong color or size. Your poem will be a unique and loving gift.

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Just Hand Over the Dishes and Nobody Gets Hurt

01 Friday Jul 2011

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I need a Twelve-Step Program for my addiction to dishes. Yes, you read it correctly. I am obsessed with dishes. Not the commemorative type that people buy to remember special occasions or unique places. I can’t seem to own enough dinner plates, salad bowls, 16-piece dinnerware sets.

As my generation was growing up, it was readily accepted that blame for everything unpleasant about yourself be placed on your parents.  As I see it, my mother really is to blame for my out-of-control dish fetish.

We were a little family, just the three of us, but that never stopped my mother from making a big deal about meals. Every night we ate dinner on an artfully set table complete with candles. She owned just one set of everyday dishes but she mixed and matched those basically white dishes with solid black bowls and salad plates, different placemats, and candles. Our table looked remarkably different, each night, even though it was set with essentially the same dinnerware.  

 My father was no help.  Delighting in the dinner atmosphere that she created, he did irrational things to support her. One day, he sanded and painted three inexpensive, wooden, salt and pepper shakers so she would have some additional touches of color on the table.  As you can see, I was doomed from the very beginning.

When you’re a teenager, you don’t really want to be like your parents but I recognized, early on, that I’d be wise to emulate many of my mom’s personal traits.  She loved to spend time with friends, had a definite sense of style, and a genuine ease with entertaining. I never seemed to develop her sense of table style or her genuine ease at entertaining. But I loved my friends and somewhere along the way, I must have decided that I could make up for what I was lacking, in the hostess department, with a substantial collection of dishes. I bet even Perle Mesta, the hostess with the mostess, didn’t own as many dishes as I do.

So, my journey down this road of dish acquisition began. To my first, simple set of white, everyday dishes, I added sets that matched the accent colors in my apartment. From there, I moved to thematic dishes…after all, what says yummy breakfast better than a chicken running across your plate? Eventually, holiday dishes joined the collection. Christmas dishes had become quite popular and were easy to find. I’ll probably have a harder time finding Ground Hog’s Day dishes.

Meanwhile, my friends think I’m crazy. Luckily, they haven’t tried a group intervention. My friend, Judy relentlessly asks me when she will be receiving an invitation for dinner. “Roger and I are so looking forward to coming to dinner,” she’ll exclaim, “we can’t wait to eat from lobster dishes and use those matching lobster crackers.”  I know she’s just taunting me.  And she doesn’t have a clue how long I searched for a set of lobster dishes that coordinated with those red metal lobster pinchers.  Nobody really understands.

 As we head toward Independence Day, I thought it might be appropriate, for a blog on celebrations, to feature a picture of a festively set table highlighting my Fourth of July dishes. Aren’t they just the cutest… with their little pointed stars and subtle red stripes? I’ll be enjoying them for the entire month. Then, I’ll pack them away knowing I won’t see them again for another year. The only thing that will keep me from shedding tears is the fact that the black dishes with the pumpkins will be out in just 92 more days.

Happy 4th of July!

 

Becoming a Memory-Keeper for a Special Bride

08 Wednesday Jun 2011

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Most wedding ceremonies last for about an hour.  Add a sit down dinner reception and the celebration will last for several hours. Decide to invite your guests to a romantic setting where everyone stays in small cottages and the celebration lasts throughout the week-end (I actually know of someone who did just that) and you might get 72 hours of wedding celebration.

 But I think that I am safe in saying that whatever the length of the celebration, it pales in comparison to the time spent planning for the special day. Brides-to-be spend hours preparing. They try on dresses, taste entrées, make music selections. All the hours spent in the prep can be exhausting and frustrating but those hours can also be sources of some amazing memories.

A photographer, hired to record the special moments of the wedding day, is considered a necessity. But what happens to all of those special moments that occurred during those numerous planning days? They get filed away and too often (I fear) forgotten.  Yet they are the very moments that help to make the big day such a magical event.

 What I am about to propose (no pun intended) is that there could be someone who records some of those special wedding prep moments – someone who becomes a memory-keeper for the bride. And that someone could be you.

Who me?

This job is designed for someone who is close enough to the bride to naturally be included in much of the planning. It doesn’t mean you actually have to be with her everywhere she goes for wedding prep but it assumes you are close enough to the bride that she will be sharing her big-day planning experiences with you on a somewhat regular basis.  It assumes you’re willing to keep little notes on the events as they occur and willing to keep a temporary secret. And most importantly, you think it sounds like fun!

What tools do I  need?

Get yourself a small, basic notebook. It should fit easily into your purse or pocket. It shouldn’t be fancy. Resist the temptation to buy something that might invite you to focus on something other than just recording facts. Don’t worry about what you write – just write. There will be a chance, later on, to rewrite entries if you decide. Save the descriptive phrases and fancy verbs for then.

  How do I do this?

You are not going to be lurking in dark places with your notebook.  In fact, you don’t really have to keep what you are doing a secret. You’ll see why I think it’s fun to keep it a secret later in the blog. As you become privy to information, date and record it in your notebook.  I am assuming that, if you are choosing to try this activity, you know the bride fairly well.  Record facts that you feel will be meaningful to her. Be kind. If something happens that might be considered embarrassing, exercise good judgment. You know the bride so you are best to make that distinction.

What memories do I keep?

Some of the memories that are perfect to “keep” will be obvious.  A mother-of-the-bride getting teary when she first sees her daughter, in a wedding gown, might be predictable. The words she uses to express her feelings will be personally unique and meaningful. They might even hold some surprises.  When the florist, who has been working with ten other clients that day, calls the bride by the wrong name, it might be annoying at the time but it could be funny, later. As you go along, you’ll recognize the opportunities where you should record a fact.  Regardless of what you do or don’t choose, you really can’t do this job incorrectly. Let your genuine love and friendship, for the bride, guide your choices.

What do I do with these collected memories?

Think of times and places where it might be fun to use these bits of trivia.

How about a bridal shower?  We’ve all been there. It’s the chatter that goes on, between guests, while playing those shower games that makes them fun. Bride Bingo, without it, can be down-right painful. Try the challenge of turning bits of information about the wedding and your unique memories into a game.  You could divide your memories into categories and have party guests try to answer easy 100 point questions or be challenged by those 500 point questions.  Obviously, only a few people may know the name that the florist accidentally used when conferring with the bride, but it will make for fun conversation.  Typically, the bride knows all of the answers to any bridal game question. But even she may have to search her memory for some of these answers. If you have kept your memory keeping a secret, these little facts will be a fun surprise, for the bride, as well as the guests.

Responsible for a wedding toast? Your memories might provide just the additional anecdote, funny or sentimental, that you were looking for to complete that toast.

You can eventually turn your notes into a gift. At this point, you might purchase or make a little book that is a bit more decorative and rewrite some or all of your entries. If you feel comfortable adding those descriptive phrases and fancy verbs, now is the time. I personally feel that the memories themselves are special enough but that is up to you. This little book of memories could be a Happy First Anniversary Gift.

I think that you will find, while collecting all of these memories, it has made the planning steps more meaningful and more enjoyable for you. That’s a perk right there!

Celebrating a friend’s wedding day is incredibly special. Celebrating a friend’s preparation for that day, by being a keeper of the memories, is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will stay, with both of you, forever.

I have been a memory keeper, myself, but I was recording for another unique event. If you have questions or would like a little additional help, please feel free to ask. If you decide to “become a memory keeper”, I’d love to hear about your experiences.