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lovedreamcelebrate

~ Reflecting on life's celebrations…

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Tag Archives: personal memories

Small and Cheap Aren’t Synonyms! (Our Wedding Our Way)

23 Thursday Jun 2011

Posted by lovedreamcelebrate in Celebrations, Personal Memories

≈ 8 Comments

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celebrations, intimate weddings, personal memories, weddings

The first time I googled “small weddings” the top response was “cheap weddings”.  In disgust, I clicked off the computer and walked out of the room. Perhaps a bit of an overreaction on my part, handling frustration isn’t always my long suit.

At the first announcement that I was getting married, my best-friend gave  me a congratulations card and one of those bridal magazines. It’s incredible what you can learn in those magazines. I learned that I  had an official title –  encore bride. I wasn’t even struggling with the whole second marriage label but it was exciting to discover there was an official title for my new role.  What was even more incredible was the overwhelming number of options available to brides who were in the midst of planning a wedding.

For  a week, I poured over every page of that magazine,  ooohing and ahhhing over the beautifully set reception tables, the magnificent bridal bouquets, and the heavily adorned wedding dresses. It was all very beautiful,  my inner princess was delighted, but very little of what I saw in those elaborate magazines was what my fiancé, Greg, and I really wanted for our wedding. We were both “encores”( assuming encore isn’t gender specific),  in our 50s, and dealing with a limited budget.  I had perused the bookstores and purchased additional magazines. But by the time I got the “cheap wedding” response, on the computer,  I was at my wits end.

One afternoon,  Greg, recognizing my continued frustration, came home with one more book. It was entitled Intimate Weddings.  I was touched by his thoughtfulness. The book’s relatively small size (for a wedding book) and its soft yellow colored cover encouraged me to let down my guard long enough to flip through the pages.  I was instantly charmed. I loved the author’s use of words and her delightful description of possibilities.  I realized that I had been focusing on what I couldn’t have, with our limited budget, instead of all of the possibilities I could explore with a small wedding. It was the turning point in my own wedding planning.  

In the months that followed, as we made the decisions that are typically associated with wedding planning, we consciously tried to think of ways to infuse the ceremony and reception with personal touches. I now realize that the road to our wedding day was filled with more than schedules to keep and choices to make. It was filled with affirmations of long held values, and a few personal insights, as well.

My Uncle Leonard, my father’s youngest brother, married us. I can see a bit of my father in his face and in his demeanor. My father was a much younger man when he passed away but I can still see the family resemblance. My father would be so proud of him….and of me.

Alexandra, my best friend’s daughter, was my bridesmaid. I am an only child but she is still my “niece.” Family bonds are as much a matter of the heart as they are about genetics, for me. On the day of the wedding, Alex wore, around her neck, a strand of my mother’s pearls. I still miss my mom. Although she never knew Alex as a young woman, she had loved her as a child and young teen. It was a sentimental reminder of the love we all had shared.

Greg and I purchased pocket watches, as gifts, for his parents. Time is the ultimate gift. The watches symbolized all the time his parents had spent caring for him, loving him, supporting him…helping to form him into the man that I love. The watches also stood for that precious portion of time – the future – that stood ahead of all of us. We tucked a picture of ourselves, in the case, to remind them of this particularly special moment in time.

In the middle of our reception, we took a small break for a photo montage. I’ll always remember how I felt, standing with Greg by my side, as we watched the images flash before us. The montage began with a short tribute to the memory of my loving parents. But instead of moving on to pictures of Greg and me, the images transitioned to pictures of our guests. Secretly, we’d chosen a few pictures of each of our guests and their families.  Those photos and some  favorite music selections were handed over to a videographer.  The finished product was our way of saying – Your lives are important to us. Without all of you and the influence of your love and friendship, we couldn’t be all that we are…we wouldn’t be here.

The personal touches weren’t all  the results of such serious thought. We definitely left room for the expression of those  individual  personal characteristics that help define us. There is a part of me that has never outgrown the love of all things frilly or sparkly. She’s the inner princess that loved everything in that original bridal magazine. I chose my wedding shoes in honor of her.

Our wedding day had been designed to reflect the things that were of value to us.  It was filled with friends and family and a reminder of the way they had enriched our lives. It was filled with the traditions of marriage that were close to our heart. It was filled with personal touches that made our wedding day “uniquely ours.” Our wedding was small… but only in size.

Intimate Weddings was published in 2004. The blog, Intimate Weddings, was started four years later.

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Will You Stand By My Side?

14 Tuesday Jun 2011

Posted by lovedreamcelebrate in Celebrations, Personal Memories, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

bridesmaid party, celebrations, personal memories, will you be my bridesmaid

I was ready to pop the question. A little luncheon had been planned in honor of this special occasion. The house was clean, the table set, and a few appropriate words had been rehearsed. I was a little nervous but I was ready.

But what I was about to propose wasn’t marriage. I had invited Alexandra, my fifteen year old niece, and her mom, to lunch where I was going to ask her to be the one and only bridesmaid in my upcoming wedding.

I think it is a magical factor of human nature that we are capable of knowing we will love someone or something before they actually become a tangible part of our lives. But it is an experience most of us have had. I knew that I would love Alex even before she was born. I was enchanted holding her for the first time.

Even though I knew that I would love her, I could not possibly have known all the wonderful memories that we would build together. I could not have possibly imagined all of the joy that she would bring to my life. I could not have envisioned all of the giggles and the hugs that we would share over the next decade and a half.

So, I wanted this luncheon to be more than an opportunity to anticipate and prepare for my special day. I wanted it to be an opportunity to celebrate the unique bond that she and I had developed.

The luncheon table had been decorated in browns and pinks to match a bridesmaid tote that I had bought for her. Pictures, chosen from different stages of her life, served as our centerpiece. A banner, asking the big question, hung across the doorway. While she knew she was coming to lunch, I don’t think that she suspected my ulterior motive.

It was fun to see the surprise in her face.  

And even more fun to spend the next six months shopping and dreaming and building even more memories, together.

And when the big day finally arrived, that sweet, beautifully radiant child, who had been so close to my heart, for so many years, was there ready and willing to stand by my side. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

                   Happy 18th Birthday! (June 14, 2011)        I love you.

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